Jewish Bedtime Story Co-op

Once upon a time, there was a Jewish man named Joseph who lived in Sioux City, South Dakota. One day, his wife, Elsie, was sad. So Joseph decided to buy her a gift to brighten up her day. He knew she liked to eat, so he decided to go to the kosher butcher and buy her some meat. He would then broil it and serve it to her as a nice tasty meal.

Entering the butcher shop, he asked the butcher for the best piece of meat in the store.

The butcher bent down and reached into his refrigerated display case. The butcher pointed to a nice cut of beef and said, "This is a very nice piece of steak, just look how fat it is."

"Hmmm," thought Joseph. "Fat must be what makes the steak so good. If this is true, then I shall just buy a pound of fat from the butcher."

"Let me see some of your fat." Joseph asked the butcher.

"Of course," replied the butcher. "This is excellent fat, it is just like extra pure olive oil."

"Olive oil?" thought Joseph. "Olive oil must be better than fat, just as fat is better than steak. If this is the case, I shall not buy the fat. I shall buy some olive oil instead."

Joseph rushed off to the Sioux City Supermarket and asked the store clerk for a bottle of the finest olive oil.

"Yes, sir." replied the supermarket clerk. "This olive oil is so good, it is like white wine."

"White wine?" thought Joseph. "White wine must be better than olive oil, which is better than fat, which is better than steak. If this is the case, I shall not buy the olive oil. I shall buy some white wine instead."

And so, Joseph rushed to the kosher wine store, and asked the store owner for a bottle of her best white wine. "Yes, sir." replied the wine store owner. "This bottle is very easy to drink. It is so good, it's like you are drinking water."

"Hmmmm," thought Joseph, "If that is the case then I shall just buy a bottle of water."

And so, that is how Joseph came to buy his wife Elsie some water for a gift to make her happy. -- Revised: July 1999
Copyright © 1996, 1997, 1998, 1999 Acquired in August 1999.

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